[ he's glad rune isn't here to see this. to see him, bloodied and bruised, pathetically dragging himself across the floor to his bedroom because standing disorients him to the point that he'll end up in the same position anyway if he tried.
rune would have a mouthful to say about this. no, he wouldn't — he'd simply find a way to spirit himself to faerie and cause even more damage than this is worth. he doesn't understand tact or fragility or balance. rune is as stubborn and bull-headed as they come, his anger a heavy, dangerous hand, and lynx doesn't have the patience for it right now. all he wants is for the disgusting potion he's been force-fed to wear off so his mind can be clear again instead of plagued with nightmarish scenarios involving his family. they're magically-induced and extremely vivid lies. nothing more. but he's having a hard time reminding himself of it when he keeps having visions of sofija being torn limb for limb for the sport of the unseelie court.
he shakes his head and immediately regrets it. the bed feels like it's miles away, but eventually his hand closes around soft sheets, slumping against the side of the mattress and getting blood on the covers. he's already replaced them so many times because of rune and his questionable condition.
rune is on his mind far too often lately, but he embraces it in this moment because it's something different from the horrors replaying through his head. thinking of his sour face offers him the smallest reprieve. thank the gods he isn't here. lynx closes his eyes, trying to keep rune at the forefront of his mind as he slowly slumps to the floor, his breathing slow and shallow. ]
[ ciro chastises him after nearly strangling him in a hug and then crying.
he's been reckless, he knows, but it's no excuse for his absence in ciro's life. some part of him feels guilty about it. not enough though, not when he asks him to tend to his ear and inquires about something to help stabilize his magic. it's a familiar affair, relaxing almost, until he begins talking about lynx and the agreement he's made to help teach his daughter. (does that part come as a surprise to ciro? he can't tell, not with the way he looks at him, but he suspects it might.) and though he should give lynx his space, rune doesn't like the idea of being gone too long. no matter what they argue about, there's always something dragging him back.
ciro says love is a good look on him.
rune doesn't even reply. he leaves.
it's much too late when he arrives back at lynx's little cottage, taking a moment to look around before stepping in through the door. the silence bothers him, which is strange considering how used to it he's gotten the hours lynx is away working. perhaps he's asleep, no cause for worry, and rune's thinking about crawling into bed with him when he sees the blood. the adrenaline spikes hard, following after it without hesitation, and upon finding lynx half out of it draped over the bed, he's back in gris' prison outside his own body.
rune blinks, and he's already on his knees, arm curling around lynx to ease him back so he's not breathing in the dirty sheets. ]
Lynx. [ his voice is steady despite a mixture of feelings. disappointment, annoyance, anger. so much anger. ] Look at me. What happened?
[ he's jerked out of his thoughts not by the sound of rune's voice but the way he touches him, his strong arm lifting him gently in a cradle-like embrace. he shudders, hand pressing to his chest in a weak attempt to push him away. ]
Rune? [ how is he here? has it been an entire night yet? no, the window is still dark, the curtains swaying in the cool night air. it has to be the same night. isn't it?
he draws in a breath, his ribs flaring with sudden pain. same night, then. ]
I told you to stay with Ciro. [ the blood around the gash at his temple is drying now, a mess of red staining locks of his pale hair. he temporarily surrenders his quest to push rune away, slumping against his chest instead. ] I do not need you here. Nor do I want you here.
[ the fact that he's trying to fight him is good. it means he isn't as injured as he looks, but rune still isn't happy about it. ]
Shut up. [ is this the sort of thanks he gets? ] If this is what you do when I leave you alone, it's never happening again.
[ but what had happened? there's time to think about it and time to get it out of lynx as he tends to him, shifting to lift him from the floor. for someone so lithe, lynx is heavier than he looks. it's something he hadn't really given much attention to before, eyes locked on his face and the injury at the side of his head. all that beautiful hair a mess, and what about the rest of him? rune eases him onto the mattress, helping to sit him up so he can inspect what he can see without taking his clothes off. ]
Tell me why.
[ to punish him further? to teach him a lesson? did this have anything to do with his daughter? or worse— did it have something to do with him? it's a thousand questions he doesn't ask, expecting the honesty and gaze firm as he rubs at some of the dried blood on his cheek. ]
[ he blinks and he's on the bed, rune's hands gently moving over him to check him for other injuries. there's the gash at his temple, bruising along his cheekbone and more of it over his ribs. the fingers on his right hand are bloody, but it doesn't look to be his own. he's usually so calm, so able to rise above the petty injustices of the unseelie court. this time he left a mark, and he's not sure yet if he's sorry for it or not.
he wants to reply with no reason at all, but that would be a lie. ]
I already told you I am not allowed to die. [ his mind feels slightly clearer, pain cutting sharply through the haze of his thoughts. good. ] They could smell you all over the place. Which in hindsight I should have realized because I can smell you all over the place, too. I suppose I have just gotten used to it.
[ he touches his temple gently, wincing. ] Bring me a cloth.
[ he isn't sure what to do with that information. just because he'd expected it doesn't mean he's prepared to hear it, frowning at him like that will get more from him. rune suspects that if lynx hadn't been a faerie – and thus unable to lie to him directly – he would have simply made something up. and honestly, he should have since he doesn't know how to sit on that quietly. ]
So it would have gone better if I'd been here? What would that have proved? [ that he's far more superior at magic? that he would have killed them without hesitation? ] Stop. I'll take care of it.
[ and as if to emphasize the point, he pushes lynx's hand away from his head before disappearing into the bathroom to retrieve a few things. it's certainly not the setup he would have had had he been with ciro, but he can work with it. the damp cloth he presses to the wound with only a spark of kindness, his expression soured. ]
If this is really about me, then say it. They've already done enough to you. I won't be a part of that.
It is about you. [ he won't mince words to spare rune's feelings. even with sofija he's never done that. honesty is important to faeries, and not just because he hardly has a choice in the matter.
he winces again when the cloth touches his wound, but the pain dulls after a moment, lynx's breath easing out of him. ] So what will you do? Run away again? Give them exactly what they think I deserve? That would be a life of loneliness, if you are too stupid to infer it on your own.
[ weakly, he fists his bloody fingers into rune's shirt, his claws slicing through the fabric from his tight grip. he won't allow rune to leave. not again. somewhere in the years he's known him, even in the years of his absence, lynx has grown fond of him. somehow. it's already known his tastes are questionable by fae standards. ]
They will never stop. I do not intend to cave to their will. If you do, you are less of a man than I thought.
[ rune doesn't particularly care about his feelings in this instance. he just doesn't want to be lied to or strung along; they have a lot more in common than lynx thinks. ]
So they decided to try beating it out of you instead? It's almost laughable how little they actually know you. [ he doesn't even respond to the slight on his intelligence. some part of him had suspected it long before he'd decided to visit ciro, dropping his hand when lynx curls both of his into his shirt. all he does is sigh at the tear of fabric. ] And it's insulting how little you know me. Why should I give a damn about any of them?
I wouldn't run. I'd kill them all.
[ there's a shred of venom in his words, continuing to tend to the injury and purposely pressing harder than necessary as he wipes away some of the blood. ]
That would solve nothing. You cannot kill every faerie in existence.
[ he recognizes the bite behind rune's tone, all too aware that he's likely to act upon his ridiculous notions without some not-so-gentle steering in the opposite direction. ]
It was not just your scent. I wounded one of them. [ he's not exactly proud of this, but not ashamed, either. he should be, but shame has always been somewhat elusive to him. perhaps he wouldn't get into so much trouble if he felt it more often.
he breathes out a sigh as rune presses the cloth firmly against his temple. too firmly. he untangles his hand from his shirt to curl gently around his wrist instead. ]
I do not want you to put yourself in harm's way for me.
rune turns his glance slightly to meet lynx's eyes when that hand grips his wrist, easing up the pressure of his touch and frowning. since when had it mattered what he did and for who? lynx should know better that rune isn't so easily swayed; years had separated them for that very reason. but it doesn't make him a fool, and it certainly doesn't make him careless. ]
Why. [ it's demanding, dropping his hand. ] It's clear you've done that by letting me stay here. You should have told me.
[ as if that would have made a difference. ] I'm not going to sit here and do nothing.
I did not tell you because I enjoy getting my way. Because I wanted you here with me.
[ sort of a confession. lynx has no interest in labeling this. he's done far too much with his life already to care about any of that now. ]
They told me they would not hurt you. For now. That is enough for me. [ it won't last forever, but it's something. he has time before he has to think about the court again. ] I do not wish to discuss this further with you.
[ a statement sure to spark rune's ire once more, but he doesn't let go of his wrist, drawing it close to he can press rune's hand to his chest, his heartbeat steady despite his state. ]
I have no need for your protection. I do not mean to make you feel helpless, but you already know I cannot lie to you. They will not kill me. I am not afraid of them. I am only afraid that you will leave again.
[ rune grits his teeth. more than anything, this feels like lynx manipulating him for his own gain. or maybe for something else. he doesn't know, and not for the first time, he hates that his magic had dropped him into the middle of the dahlia. if he hadn't, then he wouldn't feel so indebted to lynx for helping him, and he certainly wouldn't be dealing with whatever this is right now. it only seizes and ebbs when he feels the warmth of him, the echo of his pulse strong. ]
Sometimes I think you forget that I am not human. I'm not soft like they are. [ i'm not your wife, he wants to say but doesn't. instead, he bites at the tip of his tongue. ] If you want me to stay, talk to me. Omission might as well be the same as lying.
[ he'd rather not try to read between the lines in a language he doesn't know, and gently, he curls his fingers in lynx's shirt. ]
And having no need for my protection isn't the same as me wanting to give it. You've already done the same for me.
I know you are not human. But I am still a faerie, and I do not wish to sever all ties to my people. No matter how cruel their treatment seems to your eyes.
[ it's a difficult thing to explain. lynx feels like the words don't exist to fully describe what it's like to be fae, although perhaps rune would understand it more easily than a human. but more easily still does not mean easy. ]
Would I have seen you again? [ slowly, he loosens his grip on rune's hand, looking up at him despite the ache behind his eyes. ] If you had not fallen right into my lap, so to speak, would you have come to me? Tell me the truth.
rune doesn't care for it, but there's very little he actually cares for. and maybe he doesn't really understand the cruelty for what it is even if he comprehends why. it's a stupid punishment. then again, rune's also meant to suffer, and it's why he tries his best to keep his distance. ]
I didn't want to leave you. [ which isn't an answer, but he's getting there. his expression thins, eyes narrowed at his temple and the stained fall of lynx's hair. ] So, yes, I would have come to you. There's no one else.
[ there's ciro, always, but that's still too much. admitting that is too much. ]
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rune would have a mouthful to say about this. no, he wouldn't — he'd simply find a way to spirit himself to faerie and cause even more damage than this is worth. he doesn't understand tact or fragility or balance. rune is as stubborn and bull-headed as they come, his anger a heavy, dangerous hand, and lynx doesn't have the patience for it right now. all he wants is for the disgusting potion he's been force-fed to wear off so his mind can be clear again instead of plagued with nightmarish scenarios involving his family. they're magically-induced and extremely vivid lies. nothing more. but he's having a hard time reminding himself of it when he keeps having visions of sofija being torn limb for limb for the sport of the unseelie court.
he shakes his head and immediately regrets it. the bed feels like it's miles away, but eventually his hand closes around soft sheets, slumping against the side of the mattress and getting blood on the covers. he's already replaced them so many times because of rune and his questionable condition.
rune is on his mind far too often lately, but he embraces it in this moment because it's something different from the horrors replaying through his head. thinking of his sour face offers him the smallest reprieve. thank the gods he isn't here. lynx closes his eyes, trying to keep rune at the forefront of his mind as he slowly slumps to the floor, his breathing slow and shallow. ]
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he's been reckless, he knows, but it's no excuse for his absence in ciro's life. some part of him feels guilty about it. not enough though, not when he asks him to tend to his ear and inquires about something to help stabilize his magic. it's a familiar affair, relaxing almost, until he begins talking about lynx and the agreement he's made to help teach his daughter. (does that part come as a surprise to ciro? he can't tell, not with the way he looks at him, but he suspects it might.) and though he should give lynx his space, rune doesn't like the idea of being gone too long. no matter what they argue about, there's always something dragging him back.
ciro says love is a good look on him.
rune doesn't even reply. he leaves.
it's much too late when he arrives back at lynx's little cottage, taking a moment to look around before stepping in through the door. the silence bothers him, which is strange considering how used to it he's gotten the hours lynx is away working. perhaps he's asleep, no cause for worry, and rune's thinking about crawling into bed with him when he sees the blood. the adrenaline spikes hard, following after it without hesitation, and upon finding lynx half out of it draped over the bed, he's back in gris' prison outside his own body.
rune blinks, and he's already on his knees, arm curling around lynx to ease him back so he's not breathing in the dirty sheets. ]
Lynx. [ his voice is steady despite a mixture of feelings. disappointment, annoyance, anger. so much anger. ] Look at me. What happened?
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Rune? [ how is he here? has it been an entire night yet? no, the window is still dark, the curtains swaying in the cool night air. it has to be the same night. isn't it?
he draws in a breath, his ribs flaring with sudden pain. same night, then. ]
I told you to stay with Ciro. [ the blood around the gash at his temple is drying now, a mess of red staining locks of his pale hair. he temporarily surrenders his quest to push rune away, slumping against his chest instead. ] I do not need you here. Nor do I want you here.
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Shut up. [ is this the sort of thanks he gets? ] If this is what you do when I leave you alone, it's never happening again.
[ but what had happened? there's time to think about it and time to get it out of lynx as he tends to him, shifting to lift him from the floor. for someone so lithe, lynx is heavier than he looks. it's something he hadn't really given much attention to before, eyes locked on his face and the injury at the side of his head. all that beautiful hair a mess, and what about the rest of him? rune eases him onto the mattress, helping to sit him up so he can inspect what he can see without taking his clothes off. ]
Tell me why.
[ to punish him further? to teach him a lesson? did this have anything to do with his daughter? or worse— did it have something to do with him? it's a thousand questions he doesn't ask, expecting the honesty and gaze firm as he rubs at some of the dried blood on his cheek. ]
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he wants to reply with no reason at all, but that would be a lie. ]
I already told you I am not allowed to die. [ his mind feels slightly clearer, pain cutting sharply through the haze of his thoughts. good. ] They could smell you all over the place. Which in hindsight I should have realized because I can smell you all over the place, too. I suppose I have just gotten used to it.
[ he touches his temple gently, wincing. ] Bring me a cloth.
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So it would have gone better if I'd been here? What would that have proved? [ that he's far more superior at magic? that he would have killed them without hesitation? ] Stop. I'll take care of it.
[ and as if to emphasize the point, he pushes lynx's hand away from his head before disappearing into the bathroom to retrieve a few things. it's certainly not the setup he would have had had he been with ciro, but he can work with it. the damp cloth he presses to the wound with only a spark of kindness, his expression soured. ]
If this is really about me, then say it. They've already done enough to you. I won't be a part of that.
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he winces again when the cloth touches his wound, but the pain dulls after a moment, lynx's breath easing out of him. ] So what will you do? Run away again? Give them exactly what they think I deserve? That would be a life of loneliness, if you are too stupid to infer it on your own.
[ weakly, he fists his bloody fingers into rune's shirt, his claws slicing through the fabric from his tight grip. he won't allow rune to leave. not again. somewhere in the years he's known him, even in the years of his absence, lynx has grown fond of him. somehow. it's already known his tastes are questionable by fae standards. ]
They will never stop. I do not intend to cave to their will. If you do, you are less of a man than I thought.
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So they decided to try beating it out of you instead? It's almost laughable how little they actually know you. [ he doesn't even respond to the slight on his intelligence. some part of him had suspected it long before he'd decided to visit ciro, dropping his hand when lynx curls both of his into his shirt. all he does is sigh at the tear of fabric. ] And it's insulting how little you know me. Why should I give a damn about any of them?
I wouldn't run. I'd kill them all.
[ there's a shred of venom in his words, continuing to tend to the injury and purposely pressing harder than necessary as he wipes away some of the blood. ]
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[ he recognizes the bite behind rune's tone, all too aware that he's likely to act upon his ridiculous notions without some not-so-gentle steering in the opposite direction. ]
It was not just your scent. I wounded one of them. [ he's not exactly proud of this, but not ashamed, either. he should be, but shame has always been somewhat elusive to him. perhaps he wouldn't get into so much trouble if he felt it more often.
he breathes out a sigh as rune presses the cloth firmly against his temple. too firmly. he untangles his hand from his shirt to curl gently around his wrist instead. ]
I do not want you to put yourself in harm's way for me.
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rune turns his glance slightly to meet lynx's eyes when that hand grips his wrist, easing up the pressure of his touch and frowning. since when had it mattered what he did and for who? lynx should know better that rune isn't so easily swayed; years had separated them for that very reason. but it doesn't make him a fool, and it certainly doesn't make him careless. ]
Why. [ it's demanding, dropping his hand. ] It's clear you've done that by letting me stay here. You should have told me.
[ as if that would have made a difference. ] I'm not going to sit here and do nothing.
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[ sort of a confession. lynx has no interest in labeling this. he's done far too much with his life already to care about any of that now. ]
They told me they would not hurt you. For now. That is enough for me. [ it won't last forever, but it's something. he has time before he has to think about the court again. ] I do not wish to discuss this further with you.
[ a statement sure to spark rune's ire once more, but he doesn't let go of his wrist, drawing it close to he can press rune's hand to his chest, his heartbeat steady despite his state. ]
I have no need for your protection. I do not mean to make you feel helpless, but you already know I cannot lie to you. They will not kill me. I am not afraid of them. I am only afraid that you will leave again.
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Sometimes I think you forget that I am not human. I'm not soft like they are. [ i'm not your wife, he wants to say but doesn't. instead, he bites at the tip of his tongue. ] If you want me to stay, talk to me. Omission might as well be the same as lying.
[ he'd rather not try to read between the lines in a language he doesn't know, and gently, he curls his fingers in lynx's shirt. ]
And having no need for my protection isn't the same as me wanting to give it. You've already done the same for me.
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[ it's a difficult thing to explain. lynx feels like the words don't exist to fully describe what it's like to be fae, although perhaps rune would understand it more easily than a human. but more easily still does not mean easy. ]
Would I have seen you again? [ slowly, he loosens his grip on rune's hand, looking up at him despite the ache behind his eyes. ] If you had not fallen right into my lap, so to speak, would you have come to me? Tell me the truth.
no subject
rune doesn't care for it, but there's very little he actually cares for. and maybe he doesn't really understand the cruelty for what it is even if he comprehends why. it's a stupid punishment. then again, rune's also meant to suffer, and it's why he tries his best to keep his distance. ]
I didn't want to leave you. [ which isn't an answer, but he's getting there. his expression thins, eyes narrowed at his temple and the stained fall of lynx's hair. ] So, yes, I would have come to you. There's no one else.
[ there's ciro, always, but that's still too much. admitting that is too much. ]